G is for Guillen.

"Welcome to Comerica Park. With 3 weeks left in the season, the Tigers are in a fight for the pennant. Tonight they play their first game against the A's. Justin Verlander takes the mound for the Tigers, he's had a good year so far..."

"Batting first for the A's is Nick Swisher. Routine Ground ball to the short stop, easy out."

"Next up is Jay Payton, who lines out to Guillen at First."
"Guillen is playing first today, letting Santiago play short."

"Next up is Jason Kendall, who sends a sharp crack down the first base line ... Guillen flubs the ball. No excuse for that. Kendall reaches on an error."

Next up, the A's DH. Frank Thomas. A well hit single.
Then Milton Bradley Homers.
Then Eric Chavez Doubles.
Then Marco Scutaro goes Yard.

At this point, Verlander gets yanked (since he's "lost his stuff" and allowed five runs in the inning).

Verlander's #s -- 2/3 IP, 4 Hits, 5 Runs Allowed (NONE earned)

Guillen would flub another shot in the 6th, but that one didn't wind up costing them. No matter, five runs was enough (in fact, the Tigers reliever didn't even earn a save despite pitching 2 1/3rd, because the score was never within three runs, and the tying run never made it on deck).

So, G is for Guillen. And Goat.

Final score
A's 7R -- 9H -- 0E
Tigers 3R -- 10H -- 2Errors

Game two has been delayed by rain, but should be tomorrow or monday.